Monday, August 4, 2014

Adventures of Krinsblag: Divine Intervention

We prepared our assault on the Pathfinder vault and broke into the Guild building after hours, sneaking through Amavor's broken window and distracting the guards through our ability to disguise one of us as Amavor. Utilizing the bells and dimension door we managed to get everyone into the vault and started investigating the rooms. I must say, this vault security is kind of annoying because the location of the rooms kept shifting around. Basically everyone but Meda wondered how in the hell the Pathfinders found anything in this damn vault. We checked a few rooms, mostly bypassing them because they contained cursed items or in one of them a couple of furies which we would have rather not tangled with. Eventually we did find one storage room containing a few interesting items, including the Manta Lord cloak I had sold, which I immediately looted. At one point we even got trapped in a maze spell, which I was able to break with my Iron Heart Surge, and resulted in us going toe-to-toe with a couple of minotaurs. Which, by the way, aren't terribly bright. It was actually kind of entertaining watching one of them charge me and basically throw themselves onto my braced spear. Finally we managed to find a room populated with gold statues, all of which appeared to be in pain. We immediately put two and two together and found a golden scimitar at the end of the room, which we immediately approached to loot.

And of course, the scimitar mysteriously was picked up and disappeared into thin air, implying an invisible person had just stolen it. We heard a slow clap and found Amavor standing behind us. He proceeded to go into some villain banter which Meda engaged him in. I was personally beyond the point of caring and didn't say anything. Eventually Amavor's invisible servant delivered the scimitar to him and Amavor decided he had enough of the witty banter and ordered some golems, which apparently none of us noticed when we came into the room, to murder us. Amavor walked off, leaving us to die horribly.

As we really didn't have a chance in hell of fighting off two golems and apparently an inevitable as well, Soma's immediate reaction was to leg it, followed by Meda. As Whitmore was a little slower on the uptake I decided to keep a path of retreat open for him, going straight up to one of the golems and smacking it with my warhammer. If nothing else it made me feel slightly better about myself and helped buy Whitmore time to get out of the room. Personally I'm kind of surprised I didn't go down fighting. I mean, yeah, I got pretty beat up there, but I was still okay. We finally got everyone out of the room and we slammed the door shut behind us, relieved at the sound of deadbolts sliding home.

We headed back to the entrance of the vault and the wayfinder teleported me back into the Guild building, where I was treated to Amavor running away like a bitch before he threw a fireball back into the building. I managed to avoid most of the damage, and I must say Soma must have prepared a ton of dimension doors today because he not only got everyone else out of the vault, but also teleported into the building, grabbed me, and teleported back out to the front, resulting in us walking away from the ensuing explosion like a couple of badasses.

In the following panic, we managed to slip away and headed back to Festivus's tavern, to discover not only Festivus there, but Palaveen, the cleric from No Fun, and Winifred from the Island of Fuck You as well. Needless to say we were a little confused and when they told us that things hadn't exactly gone to plan, I responded with a “No, really? Amavor running off with a legendary sword and the Pathfinder guild exploding into flame wasn't in your plan? Who the hell are you guys anyway?” To which the three sort of looked at each other and then transformed, Festivus turning into Cayden Cailean, Palaveen turning into Asmodeus, and Winifred turning into Nethis.

Gods. Fucking. Damnit.

- Krinsblag

This ends the current Adventures of Krinsblag. Next week Kalpar's D&D group will begin playing the pre-written adventure path Wrath of the Righteous. For those that are interested I may decide to chronicle the adventures of my new character, Sir Wilhelm von Koenigsturm. Until next time, friends. 

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